God bless the pizza's.
08.25.08 (8:03 pm) [edit]i was doing my groceries today as i heard a little boy crying not to far from me.
I asked myself "why is the little boy crying" . He was holding on to the very end of the cart. His eyes we're turned into a blue that i couldn't beleive- and his cheeks we're boiling red. His mother was at the other end of the cart, holding on the the bar looking at dead-cold-meat.
I couldn't beleive that she was letting her poor little boy scream the top of his lungs and cry his eyes out like that.
As i could see her two other children smiling around laughing and playing with cheese ( kinda funny :) the poor boy was looking in an empty space, looking heart broken. As The mom picked up a 2,99$ "steak-hâché" and putted in the cart I asked myself Why wasn't anyone paying attention to the boy? I could hear the sob in his voice, and the mer seconds where he'd stop was to catch his breath. The brother and sister we're just wondering around, throwing the cheese, and tossing out some apples with a face of repulsion while the mother was looking everywhere, but we're her little boy was.
Looking a bit estrange, i got lost in the boy's voice and bumped into a man working there. A bit suprised i appologized and said "sorry". For the two seconds of embarrasment the kid stopped crying and look into my way. I let on a smile look down and smile again to the guy i just bumped into.
There it was, those 2 second of silence - those two second of distraction who took the child's tears away, and pulled out a smile out of my very-very cold face.
While I pulled out the cart out of the way, and continue towards the bakery, i glanced at the kid to see if he was going a little better. Thank goodness i was close enough to hear the words coming out of his well-snotted nose. For some odd reason i had the feeling the question was a question of hope for him.
" Mom .. Do we have ... & nbsp; &n bsp; &nb sp; Pizza ? " she answered in the most silent-touchy-sweet way "no dear, i'm sorry"
There it was, those 2 seconds of silence- those two seconds of emotion who brought the child tears to his face, and pulled out an expression out of my very-very suprised face.
As a lightly delited smile was drove across my face -from this very short tale of my day- i could see the mom go back to choosing her meat and the kids looking up to the sky in this tastefull hopeless way. Poor little boy was crying. I thought that he was being mortified by some big-event or something. That something big happened to him and that he needed the world to know about it.
I was wrong, all he wanted was pizza. He just wanted pizza. At that precise moment, all i could think was how much innocence is bless. For that kid, a pizza would of made his day.
And right now, i'm so PROUD i can say the the moral of this story is not that innocence is bless, or kids are just innocent little creature. I'm talking about the pizza, what it means. Everyone has a pizza that they need at some point. Everyone has this little thing that can make their day, or totally ruin it.
Wanna know why i had such a very-very cold face?
I didn't have Mac'&'Cheese.
(;
GoodBye stability.
08.24.08 (2:12 pm) [edit]Saying good bye is always one of the hardest thing people can do. Saying good bye to a love one, good bye to a summer, good bye to everything we have ever felt. Thought so, why is it still hard saying good bye to something that brought us wrong, pain and suffering?
The human minds find itself so comfortable in its stability that it's abble to adapt itself to what ever situation it's thrown into. You have everything you need in you. As soon as you find yourself in a phase, or anything that we could qualify as a part of life, your mind start to addapt to everything that surrounds you. The noises, the heart beat, the good things you get, the bad things you receive. Everything. Therefore as soon as you have to face something new, you find it hard to say goodbye. Even to things that didnt bring you anything positive.
Saying goodbye to a lover that fulfiled our hearts, saying goodbye to an endless job that got us crazy, saying goodbye to a friend that changed. It's as hard as saying goodbye to a long distance lover, goodbye to a job you we're crazy about, and a friend that you changed with. Maybe you won't agree with me, and I understand why. But the loving wife of a cheating husband finds it hard to say goodbye to him since she learned to get stable with his cheating ways. The working man, who's doing a burn out is getting stressed by the simple idea of leaving his incredibbly stressing job , since he learned to live stabily with what the job brought to him. The friend who find another has changed is in pain by saying goodbye to something that use to be so close.
Goodbye are always hard, no matter what their said for. You say goodbye, I say Hello. Goodbye means that we have to say hello to something new. We have to put our best foot forward and engage ourselves-completly naked and blind- to what might be coming at us. Goodbye's are hard, since they mean that we have to take a step backwards-or forward so we can go somewhere else, and see something new.
So what if we decided to live without that stability. What if we decided to never link ourselves to a steady ground, and keep shaking-dancing-rocking-fucking the world who surround us so can get something bright, somethine new? Wouldn't we find it hard to establish ourselves a stabble life and try our best to stay comfortable.
I'm asking you would you rather live a steady-stabble life, and have to say goodbye to it OR always be on the move, and never find the comfort of a stabble-steady life?
It's all a question of personality and circumstances.. A question of perception... Isnt it?
Tear drop's of rain - fall to your knees pretty boy.
08.04.08 (8:07 am) [edit]à : Jérome et Rebecca
He's struggling to get his way out. Tearing appart his own tears, he can't beleive that he's leaving now and that he won't see her anymore. For a year, 365 days, 52 weeks, 12 months. He's going crazy, he popped a vein in his forhead and he's seriously going heels over head for her. Love works in funny ways, and life is just completly absurd.
He's 13 and she's going on 15. He's still in love with her. And this is the second summer to there story, and this one is ending like the days i'm seeying lately : in pain, darkness and rain. He's leaving because there's so much rain, and she left for 3 days because of the rain. Damn tha god damn rain. Its killing their soul right now, its throwing away what cuold of been the summer of their lives.
Summer Oh'eight, L'été deux-mille-huit. They've seen each other maybe 5 days this summer? Yet they're about the cutest thing you could see. They hold hands, kiss, she sits on his lap, they giggle together and enjoyed the sunny days where the laughter was everything like a ray of golden sun.
But now he's leaving, and she's not even there to say good bye. He's broken appart. She'll come here. expect to see him, and he's going to be gone, gone for good, no good bye, no kiss, no hug nothing.
I'm writting this to her, because i know her and i know him. He loves you, and your his summer love. And beleive me , despite any rain he was willing to stay here, just to watch you smile and watch your golden hair dry his tear. To you, he's crying. He's falling appart to his knees, damning the god damn rain. The rain who's killing everybodies fun, the rin that falling , pourring , flying around and litteraly ruining everyone's life.
So pretty boy who's not gone yet. When you fall to your knees and look to the sky, notice the rain falling on your face, and mixing with your tears. Right now it might be youre greatest foe, your biggest flaw, but it's making the illusion of on tears at all.
Not even a single tear drop of rain.
Waiting on nobody
08.02.08 (2:43 pm) [edit]Here i am... Standing on a camping chair- dark blue with a mix of grey watching the pool empty itself as the clouds get greyer then my chair. The orange wood under me will soon be turning into a red colored peice of nothing.
Its been like this all summer, well almost. I love storms, but when i have around one or two per days... I won't lie, it gets annoying. I have the earphone in my ears (...) and im listening to mister vain. I have to learn the lyrics by heart, i have a show monday-thursday with this. I had my day off today. I've work 25 hours 'till now, and i was suppose to see him today.
He was going to come and see me and we would of gone shopping downtown. But uhe never showed up, not that our way of comunication is really good (throught text) but it never somehow came out that he was going to not come. So i went shopping with another friend, i went downtown with my parents and here i am here... Until i realise (by him saying : i might come tomorow) that he wouldn't come today. Or Tonight. so i've been waiting here for nothing.
Its starting to rain, not allot tho.. Its not pourring, its just dropping, Yet i kinda hope it starts pourring. My real one invited me to go away in his car and go look at fireworks... but i don't feel like it, i don't feel like being with him anymore. I'm tired of his ways, and i'm realising that even thos i had strong beleifs we we're meant to be with each other.. This time is not the right time. I'm still the innocent girl that wants to have fun. That enjoys the game of love more then anything else. And that what's keeping me with him is teh fact other likes him and that he's kinda good looking. But he's nothing like a boyfriend. And the lover , the guy i'm waiting on.. Is everything that i could wish in someone.
He might come tomorow. He might show up and go shopping with me. I want to see him, and i'm going to be abble to see if he actually cares that much for me. I won't blame him, he knows im with the other guy. The thunder is starting to crumble here and there. And as i feel alone, i think about the other 5 999 999 999 billion people in this world, and i'm making a wish for all of them.
I'm wishing that at this moment, all of you feel a warm breeze on your heart. Because my small person might be one in a billions, but every day im thinking about all of you. And i know, that never are we alone. We're all here, in our part, in our place, in our lives.
and when i think of you, i know somewhere someone might be thinking of me, even if they don't know me.
So maybe im waiting on nobody today, but right now in my mind i'm trying so hard to be there for everybody i can. If it's not phisycly i'll try mentally.
Have a thought for ¸everyone!
Good girl gone bad !
07.29.08 (4:21 pm) [edit](:
okay so i won't hide it i'm not exactly what you can call a good girl. i've donne stupid thing in my minumum-years-of-life. in fact, i have lived a life full of experience (since i call mistake you learn from-experience). I like the idea of not being fit-to-a-frame. The idea od surprising people and the idea of not totally being good. I'm not a bad person, i'm nice and i don't wish-bad to others (that often 8-).
But i like the game of life and every part of it. I like to play, and let's not hide it : I HATE TO BE WITH SOMEONE. I love the single unity idea, the fact that i can play much as i want. I hate to be with someone, and just know that im FRAMED with that person and that i can't play the game without getting a penalty for being "a couple". SO call me bad for liking the game and playing it. I admit, i'm a total tease. And being in a couple is just making the game better. (Thats why i try much as i can not to be in a couple). Imagine, you're in a couple : you get a lover : you can have twice the love and you fill up the empty holes one forgets to fill.
In life there's good player and there's good watchers. I'm a player. In life there's good partner and there's good lovers. And he could be my perfect lover. SO what do i do now? Do i keep being a good girl and stick with my summer-fling-boyfriend who treats me like another girl? ( He doesnt take care of me or treats me like a girlfriend..) Or just keep him and have a secret garden (as my good friend would say?).
good girl in me says : Ditch one and get the other. Or just forget the lvoer
Bad girl in me says : Hey choose your side of the court. You can be on both side, but its risky
?? Help anyone!